At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
