its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
50% drunk capacity currently
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
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