Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
