here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.