He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER