I just saw a hot homeless man
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
