Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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