If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
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You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
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Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize