I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
