I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
