sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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