last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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