I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
