Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Kiss
Puke
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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