If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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