that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
