Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
