giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize