Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
