My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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