She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize