Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
