Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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