ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize