I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have fence marks all over my body
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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