Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
