You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize