you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize