Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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