thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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