You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
