Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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