I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
