Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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