Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize