Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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