just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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