I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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