The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize