he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
