Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
