hotel room ftw
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
