..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
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he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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