Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
