Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
