I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
