well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
