i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
