I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize