Ambien. No doubt about it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize