Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize