It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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