so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
