I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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