I hate your face
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She even gives head with a lisp.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
