so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
